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Have you ever been in a relationship and just felt like something was wrong but you could not quite put your finger on it? It may be because the following actions, which in my opinion are toxic to a relationship, could be getting filtered as normal.  Here are five things to look for in a toxic relationship…

  • Verbal Putdowns – When your partner verbally belittles you, especially around other people you may have something to discuss.
  • Mismatched Actions – When your mate says one thing and does another. For example, they say they are in love with you and then act like they do not care, you may have an issue that needs to be handled.
  • No Trust – When your partner does not trust you, a conversation between you must be top priority.
  • Dependency – When your mate tries to have you be completely dependent by limiting your activities or circle of friends, another red flag is flown.
  • Compromise – When your partner demands that you change things to please them, and you seem to be the one compromising, maybe it’s time to talk.

All five of these things are big, red warning flags that should warn you that it’s time for a conversation about your relationship or it could become toxic very quick.

It is so easy to see the problem when someone else falls into a toxic relationship. Why is it so hard to tell when you are in one?

It’s because that relationship has become normal.  It’s just the way things are.   And now, being aware of those actions is what it will take to help you get it straight.

You should know that you always have choices. So if you choose this type of relationship, then fine, you get what you get.  But you shouldn’t choose it then complain about it.  If you choose it, you choose it the way it is and the way it isn’t.  However, before you choose it, there’s nothing that stops you from talking about it with your partner first.

Why not get on the same page first.  Before you sit down, identify what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship.  Identify your don’t want’s that are show stoppers, for instance, does he beat you?  That might be a show stopper.  In other words, identify the toxic behavior you are not willing to tolerate or compromise on.  Set those down and if they are violated then it’s time to get out.  Everything else is negotiable.

Also, realize that your relationships are what you make them.  You do get some control in the relationship.  You get to say how it goes and what you do with it.

If you’re in that type of situation, look at what you want.  Get clear on what you don’t want. Then have a conversation with your partner.  It’s that simple.